With Christmas eve only a few days away, and Mr. Weaver and I planning our annual Xmas getaway to Aruba, Helena thought she had better put down the Absinthe and pen a poem for her beh-behs before she plants her ass on an Air-Aruba flying air bus...
But then She remembered after the Absinthe fog wore off, this bitch hates to write poems.
Oh Hell, anything for my beh-behs!
The twelve days of Christmas Non denominational Holiday
By Helena Handbasket- Weaver
On the first day of Christmas Non denominational Holiday
My true love gave to me, a sewer to bring economic development
On the second day of Christmas Non denominational Holiday
My true love gave to me, two shots of Cabo and a sewer to bring economic development
On the third day of Christmas Non denominational Holiday
My true love gave to me, three flasks of Benedictine, two shots of Cabo, and a sewer to bring economic development.
On the fourth day of Christmas Non denominational Holiday
My true love gave to me, four liters of Captain Morgan rum, three flasks of Benedictine, two shots of Cabo, and a sewer to bring ergonomic diverpiment
On the fifth day of Hannukkkkk, Chankahola, Christmas Non denominational Holiday
My boyfriend gave to me, fiftyleven murple shirts with zzzippers, foursh litters of captain puppies, free burpee seeds , two combos and think I fell in a sewer of ecoli diverisplement
On the sixth day of a party thing, mmmmmmmmmy guy gave on me six monkeys swimming, five things with stuff on ‘em, four furry fluffies with tails, tree flats of beniment drinky stuff, arhhhhggggg, I feel sick, two, hiccup arrrrghghghhhh, so sick.
On the seventh day, Gahd rested… wif a hangover
On the eighf day…I don’t memember anyfing
On the ninfth day, I arrrgbhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhh
I hope Santa brings you everything you want, be it Dolls
or Harleys! Or dolls on Harleys in some cases!
Merry Christmas, my bitches!!! Happy New year!!!!!!
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