Shandaken...The center of Human Culture? That's right, walk like an Egyptian bitches!

Welllllllll, here is was, the second episode of my (once again) very favorite television show. This meeting started off like any other, with guest stars and supporting players. The cast of characters were the same, but they played different parts. The Pine Hill Bunch, now headed by super-driven Matt Persons, played the antagonists, where they were the protagonists last year. Ms. Knownothing must have paid her SAG dues, as she had a large speaking part, even when asked (kindly) to shut the hell up. Gotta love a bitch that can only hear the sound of her own voice, and not the ones that are telling her to S-H-U-T U-P.

So, with so many important things that the town of Shandaken has going on, the Pine Hill Gang wanted to focus on the one that is of paramount importance to all Shandaken residents. So, naturally, they took up four and a half hours of the first part of the meeting discussing the Shandaken Museum. Or, as Mr. Persons would have you think, the Library of Alexandria, as he made numerous comparisons to it. He explained why, though they are an entity of the Town, they are not an entity of the town and can do pretty much whatever the hell they want. He also made mention to the four page letter explaining all that is required of the director. I think it was actually four pages with the words "keep looking out the window and checking to see if the building is there" written on it one hundred and fifty times. Well, the gang might think that this is important enough to spend hours discussing, but I don't. So, that is all I'll say about that. Actually, I'd discuss Egypt a bit more, but without my hookah and hand woven rug to sit on, it

seems silly.

The meeting continued on smoothly and the board moved along with the appointment to the planning board, which brought the hisses and cries of not only the dozens (okay, only seven) of Pine Hill people, but Maureen Mill-ahr. At one point she even stood up and proclaimed her intent to run for president. Wait, that can't be right. I think she stood up and proclaimed her love for Jack Daniels. No, wait, that was me. I think she stood up and proclaimed that the way the Planning Board and the Town Board was handling the appointment for a new planning board member was unholy and wrong because her friend Bethezda Watercracker was the most knowledgeable person in the world to be on that board (read: hates the resort, Dean Gitter, and the Gailes) and no one else is qualified. Ms. Knownothing chimed in with her two cents and said that Hope Luhman was not actually qualified because she isn't a licensed planner, only a certified one, and that she checked the paper work on it and checked into her background and everything.

Ya know, as she does.

Ms. Knownothing was missing the hypocrisy in her statement, as none of the current planning board members hold a license in planning. Checkmate, bitch.

Well, the decision was made, Hope was put in place, and you know what? The earth did not open up as Maureen said would happen, and swallow the attendees whole. From what I could see on my little black and white, 12 inch screen, all those attending were just fine. Comfortable even.

The Board moved along swiftly with town business after that with nary a glitch. More planning board appointments were made, including Charlie "no, I'm not Jack Cassidy" Frasier as the Chair, and Barbara Redbarnstormer as the County Alternate or some such thing. Dick Windowlickerdella could be heard saying "that's right" when Tiny Tim voted "No" on Charlie's appointment. He was just happy Tim remembered to vote the way he and Bike told him to vote. Only one resolution was tabled after an executive session was requested to take place after the general meeting, so all in all, a great meeting. Helena does have one sad note. No sight of Mr. Lala in his sexfessional uniform, and no outbursts from the crowd (save for Ms. Mill-ahr's proclamation, which wasn't an outburst, per se).

Helena has to comment on how things move much more uniformly now. One might even get the impression of a professional meeting taking place, unlike the circus performances of the former administration. Speaking of the former administration, Pete, nor his mustache could be seen on the screen, so I am left to believe he did not attend the meeting at all. Hmmm, do you think he actually figured out he is not on the board anymore? Perhaps the memo finally made it.

Supervisor Stanley used his gavel appropriately. From my screen it looked like the size of Rob's gavel was along the lines of 2" by 3". Mr. Supervisor, might I suggest one the size of 2' by 3', and with a weight of around a deuce, deuce and a half, maybe? You need some girth behind that gavel, and may I also suggest you actually pose as though you're going to throw it at the person who you are trying to shut up. I promise you it will be most effective.

P.S. Happy note: The website is up and running (funny what a letter from the town attorney can do, huh?) and while it is still in the development stages, it looks like it will be a great site. YAY!

Until Next time, my bitches!