Rob Stanley, a priest, and Forrest Gump walk into a bar...

So, mommies and poppies, Helena was so caught up in the election fervor, that she forgot that her favorite t.v. show was on tonight. A specially scheduled town board meeting show took place, but I only caught the first part as I was scheduled to attend a wake being held at the Sportsman's Alamo Cantina.

Well, from the small portion of the meeting I did watch, the budget was discussed. And while I know that fourteen shots of Cabo Wabo will make your reasoning abilities fuzzy like Petey's math, I believe things have gotten so bad, that we are now going to be reduced to purposely injuring tourists to raise some cash for the town. I believe the board even voted on it and everything. There was discussion of breaking skiers legs or putting snow boarders in traction. Maybe I have some of the facts wrong, but I think we residents will be given assignments on who to injure, how and where. I'll keep you posted...

They also discussed how the good neighbor fund should never be touched again, except to fix the shit hole in the flood plain that is town hall. In the mean time, Peter says we should all collect green stamps to save up for the more important ambulance the town needs. In forty seven years, we will have collected enough green stamps to bring Cindy Brady to the Green Stamps store to pick out a really cool EMS vehicle...or a sewing machine, which ever Cindy Brandy really wants.

They then moved on to the trigonometry and theory of relativity portion of the meeting (apparently), as they spent fifty two minutes figuring out where $10,000 was going. Rob finally had to get up and give Forrest the right budget that the rest of the world was working on...yeah, the election results were a good thing.

As the camera panned the audience, I noticed that not many peeps showed up for the live performance taping. Only a handful of daring souls braved the bore-fest, including Mr. Rich Muelerlalalalalala in his uniformed finest, Kathy Knownothing and Barbara Redbarnstormer (who displayed an odd choice in seating position for those of us watching from home- girl, try closing your legs once in a while, that thing has had plenty of air already!). The Windowlickerdellas showed up late, and not too many more than that were there.

They then announced that they were taking a ten minute break (eleventy eight minutes in PT) and that is when I shut down the tv and high tailed it to Sporto's. Boy, you could wipe the floors with the mopey,teat (typo, but it stays) stained faces there. Good thing the Democrats have found a new home in Sporto's. They needed a "bat cave" and Bike needs the business.

Hey, just wondering, has Pete-ard congratulated Rob on his win? If anyone knows, please feel free to alert me. I'm just wondering.

And to my friends Fanci and Barry, thanks for not speaking for me, because as you know, I still have two solid months left, and plenty of Petey jokes to write. I'm gonna miss that bitch!

...Then again, I still have Snoris

Helena