Of Mice and Morons

Class act that he came to be known, Mr. Peter DiSclafani left office with the same modicum of dignity that he began with. Anyone looking to find information from the Town of Shandaken web site will be sorely disappointed, as the former supervisor's wife seems to have neglected to give the incoming Supervisor or anyone at town hall access to the town web site. Instead, one finds on the hijacked site, a self serving letter pretty much stating that nobody but Peter (her hubby, which she neglects to mention) thanked her for all the work done on the site, and until Rob thanks her, she ain't letting it go. Look here for a great read, but grab your tissues. You've been warned. Seems the page was profesh-uh-mally designed for free. If any of you recall the former site, compare it to this one. I think we pretty much got what we paid for. Real class, kids, realllll class. If they were more reflective people, they might realize that this is a perfect example of exactly why Rob is now Supervisor and Peter was not reelected.
Hey new Supervisor, don't cry your pretty little eyes out. You can always purchase a new domain name. A few suggestions (yeah, unless you're new here, you knew this was coming- and if you're new, welcome, where have you been?)

1. www.peterdoesntlivehereanymore.gov
2. www.oleblueeyesisinchargenowbitch.gov
3. www.wearenotnewarkbutalmostascorrupt.gov
4. www.givememydomainbackbitch.us
5. www.shitdaken.us

and my personal favorite:
6. www.youlostgetoveritandgivememydomainbackbitch.us

So, it was no surprise to any of my beh-behs when the freak show came to the Monthly Town Board Meeting show last night. Remember that I predicted it! Former Supernard Pete DiFluffy sat in the audience (of course he did, what else was he going to do, what with no restaurant business) smirking and generally behaving as he did while in office (i.e. bored and confused). It has become a tradition of single term Supervisors (i.e.- anyone named Pete) to continue to show up at Town board meetings, as they don't understand that they actually lost the election. I think the reason in part is because they did no work to speak of while in office, so to sit and still do no work is a rather nasty habit for them, one they can't break. Much like my Robert Mondavi Merlot and Desperate Housewives habit that will follow me to the grave (Damn you Bree and your perfect life).

Now on to the drama of the evening...the museum.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, because I do drink a lot, but this museum is important and must be opened four days...why?

Actually, it isn't even opened the days it is supposed to be already, so why so much fuss, Madame Director? Because you might actually be getting paid for the time you do (or don't) actually put in? I know it's a struggle to have to take off that bath robe and slippers and shut off that Jerry Springer show, and schlep the 72 steps to work, but bitches got to eat too, right?

I have an idea that will save the town money, and actually make it money in the process. We can purchase one of the public restrooms like they have in New York City, and place all of the museum contents in it. You know the kind, you put in two quarters, and for 20 minutes the "room" is yours, then after you finish, you step out, and the door locks behind you, filling the room with steam and solvents to clean away the stank of city scum. We could do that with the museum. If say, someone feels they absolutely must get in to see Shandaken's oldest spatula, they put in two quarters, grab a pamphlet, give themselves a "self-guided" tour, and then exit the pod, and any proof of their visit will be removed immediately after. BAWOOSH!

Another way to save around $11,000.00.
Just close the effing museum.

It would appear to me that a town entity that is causing so much grief, costing tens of thousands a year to run, and not even a necessary part of the town's structure, doesn't appear to be worth the hassle.

Or, perhaps they just need to change personnel. Yeah, that might help. ALOT!

And speaking of town entities...

Helena, sitting in her finest taffeta, and sipping Bailey's on ice, laughed her ass off at the t.v. when the group of museum mummies (Board of directors and close personal friends of the Director) claimed they have independent non-profit status, and choose their own board members. Not letting this misinformed cadre of misfits and their stylish (read: outlandish) comments get by without notice, former candidate for town board, the lovely lady Pat Ellison, asked if they were actually a 501 (c) 3?

"Uhhhhh. Well, we have that status under the Town's FIN #".

Sooooo, you're not really your own entity, and you report to the town board, sooooooooo...

Correct me if I'm wrong kittens, but wouldn't it make sense that the town board itself should be appointing the board members. Not like this is some independent corporation with its own FIN and tax exempt number reporting only to the charities bureau. This is a department in the town of Shandaken government, yet it serves at the pleasure of itself. Hahahahahah, I said "pleasure itself!"

I say town government needs to pull in the reigns of this bastard step-child of a department and give someone a spanking, PRONTO!

A final note on the Director of the museum. She made a point of accusing the Executive Director of the SHARP Committee of stealing and opening Museum mail. Is someone needing some attention again? What? Did Avon stop calling?

Is the SHARP director that bored? Is there not much out there that needs fixing in the town of Shandaken that she needs to do this to occupy her time?

Right.

So we're supposed to believe that SHARP is being all EVIL again, and they are after the museum bank statements for the purpose of destroying everything within it. Paranoid much? Bitch needs to be medicated STAT!

STAT is medical term for "Like, get her some lorazepam Fucking now"!!!

Okay Chirruns, it's time for dinner (Pasta LaVodka, followed by an irish coffee for dessert- if you really must know) so Helena must bid you farewell for now.

P.s. For those of you who asked about the comment status of this blog, yes, please do leave one, and it will be posted. I apologize as I neglected to check to see if there were any for a while. The reason for the comments now being moderated is because some anonymous (ahem, rhymes with fairy) person was leaving vulgar comments using a town resident's name along with the New Supervisor's, and town clerk's name. Yup, reallll class!

Later beh-behs.