the Top ten reasons why Rob Stanley, Jack Jordan, and Pat Ellison will win the election.

10. Because Kathmandu will be caught perpetrating voter fraud by registering facial hairs already registered to vote in another State

9. Peter and Doris will accidentally be removed from the ballot and replaced with Malia and Sasha Obama.

8. Randy Ostrander will declare war on Woodstock, destroying the democratic ticket.

7. Peter Dimodica will challenge Saltpeter DiSclafunny at the caucus, only to find out he is still the most unpopular man in Shandaken

6. Let’s face it, Rob, Jack and Pat are WAYYYYY more attractive than Pete, Doris and…Randy?

5. A reading comprehension test will sideline Peter, and cause him to miss the Democratic caucus

4. The Windowlickerdellas will throw their support behind Peter…subsequently assuring a victory for Rob, Jack and Pat.

3. No one wants to hear Kathy Nolan say “Pete’s doing a great job” for two more years.

2. No one wants to watch Peter give snarky sideways glares, and swing his feet while sitting in his chair for two more years.

And the #1 Reason?

1. Rob, Jack and Pat are simply better suited and will do a better job!

Election Day is just around the corner…Be very afraid.