Bike Windowlickerdella says Olive was bamboozled!

This past Monday, on my favorite show's near finale, Shandaken Supervisor Pete-ard DiSclafuggly asked his fellow town crowned rulers if they thought perhaps it would be a good idea to put the sewer issue into the hands of The CWC since he f@*!#% it up royally, and let them work their magic like they did with the Town of Olive. All but one seemed convinced it was the way to go, and all nodded their heads in agreement, except Tiny Tim who kept his eyes glued on the audience, transfixed by Bike Windowlickerdella's glare. Bike, Tiny's boss and own personal brain trust of one, quickly gave Tiny a few hand signals, and Tiny nodded his head no, never once losing his eye-lock with Bike. Peter, attempted to explain to Tiny the situation, that he thought he would grab one of his crayons and simply write a letter to the CWC, ya know, for shits and giggles. Tard should have realized this was going to be difficult as Tiny has what my granny liked to refer to as, a "knowledge curve" and really didn't even know where he was at that moment. This was evident when I sat dumbfounded as Tiny struggled to read through the longest resolution of the night, stumbling over common words like a drunk (Helena) stumbles through the yard after a fifth of jack (Daniels, not Jordan) and a bottle of benedryl. And why do they always give that boy the longest resolutions to read? Entertainment at its best!

Bike Panics at this point, and shouts out, "the sewer was Forced on Boiceville!"

Chuckles and out and out guffaws were heard, as audience members smiled and shook their heads, a few yelled back, "They voted on it!" To which Bike replied, "Yeah after only one meeting!"

So, my question is, how many meetings does it take to get to the center of a sewer vote?

I decided to pose my question to someone who would know for sure. So Helena called the Supervisor of the town of Olive to get to the heart of the matter, and the following is a transcript of our phone conversation:

Helena: Mr. Leifeld, I wanted to ask you about the sewer that is currently underway in Boiceville,and how it all came about.

Berndt Liefeld: Well, it was simple. The City was offering one, we needed one to be able to compete economically, so we called the CWC, they facilitated the procedure, held a couple of town wide meetings to inform the people, gave them all literature, held a vote, and it was voted in by the people.

Helena: But why only a few meetings?

Berndt: Because that was all we needed. Why? How many did you have in Phoenicia?

Helena: Never mind, let's move on.

Berndt: I guess people in Olive just think faster on their feet than Phoenicians.

Helena: Moving on, Berndt, Bike Windowlickerdella says that the sewer was forced on your town.

Berndt: Uhh, no.

Helena: Are you sure?

Berndt: Yeah, what is he, a moron? We get a sewer installed for free, and in return, we pay a nominal yearly fee, and get to expand and grow.

Helena: But were the people misinformed about the costs to them? Bike seems to think they were and he says "they'll see, down the line, they'll see."

Berndt: The only thing "they'll see" are the lines forming to get into the Boiceville Macaroni Grill, or see patrons attending the Boiceville Multiplex! See, Boiceville will grow, and sadly, Phoenicia will die. See, we'll be able to have as many restaurants as we want and Phoenicia will still have only....oh, yeah, I see where he's goin' with that.

Helena: Aha.

Berndt: Hey, get me his address, I'll send him an invite to the Macaroni Grill grand opening!

Helena: Yes, and after he removes the forks from his eyes, I'm sure he will ask me to be his escort!





On another note, I am sad to report that Kathy Knownothing has temporarily gone missing. I say temporarily because girls like him always come back, like herpes. An effort to locate her is underway and missing posters with his picture on them have blanketed the area.

have you seen me? If so, Call the Zen Monastery

Kathy was first noticed missing when he failed to attend last Monday's meeting. Search organizers said that all of her dear and close friends will be gathering next Tuesday, and all two of them will begin combing the area (with actual combs). The search will begin at the vacant cell tower in Shandaken, and from there, the group will split up and check all of the possible areas she may be found. It is advised that if you do get the urge to search for Kathy, please look in the following areas:

-Town Hall, behind the false wall in the Supervisor's office. This is where Kathy invisibly pulls the strings for Tardo and makes all of the screwed up decisions this town's tax paying residents have been suffering from.

-Catskill Rose- she has often been seen standing outside in the parking lot in the middle of the night throwing stones at Pete's bedroom window and shouting 'I have a great idea, why won't you listen to me!!!?"

-Under the Mount Tremper bridge. She might be there waiting for a jumper to save.

-In the back corner of the Sportsman's Alamo Cantina waiting for someone to ask for her opinion about anything.

-Under the bridge in Phoenicia, measuring the carbon footprint that tubers have been leaving.

Good luck with that search, Kathy friends, don't give up, you'll find him someday.