My Favorite Show's Season Finale

Eeeeeeeeee! Helena is squealing like a school girl! Tomorrow night is the season finale of her favorite show, and this is going to be an extended episode! I love cliff hangers (remember "who shot J.R.? me either) they make you feel all warm and gushy inside. Not to mention they give you something to live for until the next season starts and the cliff hanger is solved.

This got Helena to thinking (that and the fact that most liquor stores close on Sundays so there is little to stifle the thought process in my tiny brain) about her own shows possible cliff hangers. What possible tricks could Pete and Co., have up their sleeves until after Election time? Yeah, got you thinkin' too, huh? Well, let Helena make it simple for you, I'll go through the possible scenarios that might take place tomorrow night, ya know, for shits and giggles.

Season Finale episode, cliff hanger #1

Peter and Co. try to pass the farm stand law(again) illegally (again) but are thwarted when twenty people stand up and declare him incompetent. Dave Pillard screams for them to leave him alone as "he is going a great job!" An investigator from the Attorney General's office stands up and reveals herself, and hands Peter the keys to his new kingdom (think, "prisoner Cell Block H") Special guest stars: Christopher Walken as Andrew Coumo, Rosie O'Donnell as Dick Windowlickerdella, with special appearance by Dakota Fanning as Peter's mustache, and Larry King as Snoris.

Season Finale Episode, cliffhanger #2

Within the first five minutes of the special extended meeting, Peter declares:
1. A dictatorship in Shandaken, naming himself as the biggest Dick (Mr. Tater to you bitches) of all!
2. Marshal law in Shandaken, naming himself as the biggest Marshal of all!
3. Casual Fridays for all town residents, naming himself the casualist of all!
4. The museum in Pine Hill will become a shrine to Michael Jackson and Maurice Hinchey
5. All town employees will be required to feel empathy for Keebler elves
Special guest stars: Linda Hunt as Merry Vermin and Frankie Doyle as Kathy Knownothing.

Season Finale Episode, cliffhanger #3

New York State Governor David Patterson declares Shandaken a disaster area, a shit hole, and an all around cluster fuck. No one is surprised. The Windowlickerdellas purchase small monkeys with hats and organ grinders, making a new name for themselves as street performers in Woodstock.
Nothing is accomplished, which is okay because Peter will call a special meeting next week to introduce a resolution to study the sleeping habits of Ulster County Prisons (preparing for a future career no doubt). Special guest stars: Fred Armisen as Gov. Patterson, Bruce Vilanch as Dick Windowlickerdella (Rosie might not be available) James Gandolfini as Bike Windowlickerdella, Martin Short as Peter (in character as Ed grimly as seen below)

So, as you can see my behbehs, it can go any number of ways, and that is what I do love so about my favorite television show. Hey, did you ever wonder if Rob Stanley sometimes wakes up and feels like he is Oliver Wendell Douglas and he has suddenly woken up in Hooterville? Thing 2 is Arnold Ziffel, of course, and the conniving Mr. Haney is no doubt Peter, and farm hand Ed is Tim Malloy. And while there is no physical resemblance, Jack Jordan is Sam Drucker, with his 'Dutch Uncle' sensibility, he tries to keep things in order while watching the chaos unfold around him. And if you think about it, in the show Green Acres,Oliver had to climb a pole anytime he wanted to use a phone as he had no service in his house, and if you actually wanted cell service in Shandaken, you'd be climbing some poles to get any reception yourself, I'm just sayin', lots of similarities.

Okay Dah-lings, I'm getting allergic smelling hay, so I've got to go see what my medicine cabinet has to help me out. And by medicine cabinet, I mean liquor cabinet. And by help out, I mean put me to sleep. Don't forget to set your clocks and watch the Monthly Town Board Meeting show! Right after Green Acres on TBS! You're humming the theme song to the show right now, aren't you?!

-Helena