Shhhhh! I've got a secret

Despite what Mrs. Brady imparted to Cindy Brady about being a tattle tale (she also said not to play ball in the house, but you remember how that worked out for Bobby)I will risk being branded a "rat", a "tout" and a "big mouth" and share with you a little secret of my own.

Sources tell me (and they are reliable sources, not the transients and hopped up crack whores that the Phoenicia rag uses) that The Attorney General's Office (Mr. Cuomo... Andrew if you've been to the compound in Hyannis Port)has been in touch with several residents of the community. Business owners and community leaders alike have been interviewed, and all have been questioned about the same person and one of his advisers.

Yup, you know who I'm talkin' about. Stands four feet nine inches, has a mustache made of wire (a condition known as "Pippy Longstocking of the nose/mouth area" syndrome) spends his weekends in a tree making cookies and likes to color outside of the lines. His name rhymes with "Meat". Dead meat? They have also contacted Mr. Keebler himself. Remember when Helena told you that the powers that be were watching? Well, a bitch doesn't lie, huh?!

It all started coming to a head several months back when an office within the State began paying special attention when a rabid resident from Points West of Phoenicia (Rhymes with Brine Mill) began calling them making accusations against one of Dead Meat's opponents (might rhyme with Bobert Manley... or not) in an attempt to sully Manley's reputation. Instead, however, it drew attention to the caller, their position in Town Hall, their other job (tied to Dead Meat) and Dead Meat's abuse of power. Unbeknownst to Dead Meat and the caller, State officials were making visits to the town and gathering up information, to see if:
1. The caller was legit
2. The caller was bat-shit crazy
3. Improper actions by a town employee were afoot and they were collecting information to proceed with either indictments, or offer whether or not the caller's employment with the town should be terminated, and the Supervisor be held accountable for said callers actions.

According to two individuals who were interviewed, the State is betting it all on door number three! Tell us what they've won!

They (A.G.) also began to look into complaints that have been flooding the DOS offices, which originally went untouched until the pile started to grow and the other state department contacted them, and decided someone was not playing by the rules. Dead Meat was apparently making them up as he went along, and not all rules applied to everyone. In other words, if Dead Meat didn't like you, the rule changed to make you go away! Orrrrr, he would sick his flying monkey on you and try to slander you until you cried, or moved out of town.

One of the State visitors even requested a chance to meet with the rabid caller and I'm told this wish was granted through the assistance of a local worker. Rabid Caller did not even know they were meeting with one of the officials they spoke with just days before. Two more trips were made in an attempt to "observe" the rabid caller (officially called the complainant caller) but they were not at their "post" so to speak and instead, officials decided observing the meetings on television would work just fine, as it would enable them to also observe how Dead Meat conducts himself at the monthly meetings.

One thing that troubles them is the excessive amount of "special meetings" being called, (more so than any past Supervisors already and the guy hasn't been in office for two years yet!) feeling that this was a way to conduct business in a "less than honorable" manner and makes the process of "manipulating the law and bending favor to their positions" an easy task. It is discouraged by Municipalities to do so unless urgent matters require it. So far Dead meat has called special meetings for an audience to watch him open up bids for construction work, open up envelopes for insurance bids, attempted to pass an illegal law (aha, aha, I see where the State is going with this one?!) on farm stands, held a special meeting to show off his new lunch box, and I understand he is going to hold a special meeting this month to prove that the earth is indeed flat, and not round like we currently have been lead to believe.

No matter what happens, my main concern is, what will happen to my favorite show, 'The monthly meeting show' if Dead Meat and this band of ill-tempered cronies are swept out to sea? Will Mr. Manley entertain as well as those frigging loons?

I think not.

Of course, once news breaks, don't expect much coverage from the official rag, and the coverage you will see might look something like this:

"A.G.'s office commends Pete on job well done", then the next line (in much smaller font ) "license plates never looked better coming out of Coxsackie."

Waaaaaiiiiit for iiiiitttttt....

I have to go, in Peter time it's quarter to purple which means it's past my bed time (in Helena time, that's seven shots past Cuervo).