Debate a success for DiSclafani, everyone else chokes...

Hand to God, that will be the Phoenicia Rag's headline. But, in reality, our current "burden" otherwise known as TOWM, Tardo, etc. was not impressive at all.

But Helena is jumping ahead of herself. First, let's get to the first chuckles. They came as the candidates introduced themselves, and we in the home audience got to do shots each time someone stated a hypocritical statement when describing themselves. Helena was wasted by the time Petey finished his introduction.

First to do this was Mr. Sclafluffy himself, who began the evening with a bouquet of lies, to keep in step with the whole theme of his administration and current campaign.
During the forty seven hours (purple-three days in Peter time), Mr. Sclafluffy went on to extol the virtues of his long career in the pretend town administration industry. He talked about all that he had planned to accomplish, if only given another chance and a new coloring book. Perhaps if someone chips in for a magna doodle, he will be encouraged to actually do something this time around.




Then, our favorite sleeping beauty, Snoris Barflett, went on to describe herself as a volunteer who loves to...volunteer. It is a big part of her life, and then said that she saw her position on the town board as just another facet of her volunteerism...

HUH?

Wasn't this the bitch that was the only board member to vote no on the issue of keeping town board pay the same for now? She wanted a raise to feed all of her ferrel cats.

Yeah, volunteer my ass! She only volunteers for special interest groups that agree with her agenda (i.e. nimbosylian)


Randi Ostrander said something about how he rode in on some Belgian waffles. He also brought Belgian waffles, but I did not see him share them with anyone. Barbara Redbarnstormer really wanted Randy's waffles. She too, by the way, is a great volunteer. Not on anything important, just in the same special interest groups that Snoris is involved in.




Jack Jordan Had some great views on cost cutting for the taxpayers, I hope my beh-behs were paying attention to that. Pat Ellison was excellent with her answers, and her lack of fear of the issues, even bringing up the dreaded "s" word (nooooo, not that one, the other one, sewer) and explaining that Shandaken was basically still in medieval times when it came to infrastructure.

Now, town justices, it's simple. Tom Crucet for sure, Helena liked his tie, so for that alone, he gets extra marks. He is well spoken and has done a good job. Charlie Frasier, while seeming a bit uncomfortable at first, quickly relaxed and did a good job going head to head on the issues. Those other two gents, Miranda and Brown, eh. Miranda looks like the used car salesman that sold Helena her Yugo in 1987. And he looks like the used car salesman who sold Helena her 1975 pacer...in 2008. Don't judge me! Brown, well she seems nice, but working in the mental health field does not a judge make.
Wait, actually, being a mental health professional could work in your favor when dealing with issues in Shandaken.

Highway guys Eric and Keith were there. Nothing exciting happened in their questioning, 'cept Keith made a funny when he said, "I used to be the Superintendent, but that was interrupted by an election." Bitch got mucho points for that!

Assessors. Now, you have to admit, this was an obvious win for John Horn and Joann Kalb. Come on. When the questions of qualifications came up, John blew 'em away. He was king of a Westchester Village for many years, and was the go-to guy for assessor issues in the same kingdom. Joann also had impressive credentials, not to mention, nice clothes and hair. She happens to volunteer with real community organizations, not the "special kind" like Snoris and Barb. But that shouldn't give her brownie points, not when her other competition is ...dadadaaaaa.
A photographer.

So, this Sietz lady says she could be an assessor, even if she has no clue how the formula for assessing goes, because she can take really neat pictures of the houses.

Thanks. Really, thanks a lot for the picture abilities. I was just saying the other day how our troubles within the assessors office could all be solved if only we had a professional photographer in that office. Done!

Peter DiMoldy, after John horn mentions that one bitch is assessed at 31% while another bitch is assessed at 12%, goes on to say how he's been working in the assessors office for twelve minutes and he proclaimed it to be super efficient. Never mind the data cards are marked in pencil and date back to the 18th century. All is right with the assessors office and rest assured Peter knows how to screw you out of your property so he can claim it for the town or Zen Monastery and turn it into a thinking spot for the brain trust he is involved in. The Zen Monastery needs more room for the new dance/photography/puppet therapy studio they want to build anyway.

Now, on to Rob Stanley who had a little disturbing information to share with everyone. Seems someone is messin' with his beh-behs. Now, Helena may not have any kids (odd since I was raised Gosselin) but I know that you don't mess with a mama and daddy bear's cubs. That's just not cool. But this only means one thing, again it is painfully apparent that these bitches have nothing to run on, and they are scared of Rob and his superpower abilities to actually get things done...

Which is what Rob went on to say. "Ask yourselves what were the promises made by Peter and what has he done?" Do we have cell service? Do we have a sewer system for Phoenicia? Do we have anything? Nope. Rob seems to be just as tired as everyone else of this bitch's false promises. He nailed Peter on several issues including his lack of accountability. He made no promises other than that he would be available to people who need him. I believe it. He drives around in a very identifiable truck. Bitches are gonna find him everywhere!

Peter starts with, "As CFO, it is my responsibility to take care of the money and I've cut our taxes..." really? You weren't cuttin' shit until you got called on the carpet for your free spending, "lets all take increases this year, recession be damned" ways. And aren't you the CFO who, last winter couldn't explain why our taxes went up, throwing the blame onto the accountants and your secretary, saying we should probably hire new accountants? Yeah, lets hire accountants who do your "rough math" so everyone can get a 40% pay raise next year. 40% in peter math is 73 peach cobblers with his kid cuisine.

After Rob takes him to task for lack of cell service, Peter begins his statement with "First of all, I never did say I'd get you cell service."

Uhm...yeah, ya did. Buttttt, remember chillens, if he says it, and then says he didn't...nuff said. Bitch has got a learnin' curve.

Rob shined on issues with youth, infrastructure, cutting taxes, and making life better for citizens

Peter shined on issues of alien abduction, cow mutilation, and coffee cakes versus apple pie.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and the Phoenicia Rag hosted this debate. The Phoenicia Rag's own Brian "I cough therefore I am" Powers and Paul "not so" Smart managed to have things run smoothly enough, though at times I could see the desire in Paul's eyes for the whole thing to break down into a three ring circus, makes for better false reporting.

Ahh, too bad.