The Mustache Speaks

So, Pete's mustache called me this morning, and wanted to know why I was giving its body host a hard time. I assured Pete's mustache (henceforth called "Kathmandu" or "Kat") that I was only trying to get the information out about its host's ill deeds.

Kathmandu informed me that both "it" and Pete can make my life a living hell. Kat told me a story about how a woman who works in town called Pete onto the carpet on several issues, including his lying about speaking with officials regarding infrastructure issues, implying he was just playing out the clock and not really intending to accomplish much or anything. Well, just hours after she did this, Pete, along with several of his friends, and two town restaurant owners, began calling this woman's bosses (yes, she has MANY, unlike Kathy Nolan who is a boss of many but answers to NO ONE) attempting to get her fired. This is pretty comical. Here, we residents sit, STILL no cell service, STILL no infrastructure to speak of, TAXES INCREASING GREATLY, and what is this guy doing with his time? The adult equivalent of "I'm gonna tell your mom!" What a twit...
Well, I thought those words, but I didn't DARE say them to the mustache. Kat will cut a bitch, if you know what I mean.

Anyjerk, I listened carefully as Kathmandu let loose a diatribe unlike anything I had ever heard. Finally I got sick of listening and went into the bathroom and returned with my electric shaver. I turned it on and held it to the phone. The sound of its little motor sent chills through Kat's hairy cells, forcing it to quickly hang up.

I've found his Achilles heel People. It's NORELCO.